What would a boomer say about pensions?
Plenty of boomers retired on a final salary pension. Most people starting work today won't get one. Here's the Boomer's view, followed by the real numbers.
Ask a Boomer: pensions Comedy, not advice
At twenty-five I didn't know what a pension was. The company just gave me one, like a parking space and a Christmas turkey.
Forty years later a nice lady from personnel shook my hand, gave me a carriage clock, and I've been doing the crossword ever since. Ask your boss where your carriage clock is.
Anyway, what do you call a fish wearing a bow tie? Sofishticated! Sophisticated, you see!
A final salary pension is where you work at the same firm for thirty-eight years and they pay you a slice of your wages for the rest of your life. Simple!
Why don't you have one? Because you change jobs every two years, that's why! I stayed at the timber yard through three owners and a fire.
Anyway, did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space! Ho ho!
Retire? You haven't even learnt to hang wallpaper yet!
I retired with a lump sum, a bus pass and a greenhouse full of tomatoes. The trick is to work hard, never take a sick day and have a glass of stout every Sunday for the iron.
Anyway, what did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved! Aunt Carol laughed so hard she spilt her sherry.
The real numbers
- From 1948 until 2010, State Pension age was 65 for men and 60 for women.
Source: DWP, State Pension age Review 2023 (1948 to 2010) - State Pension age reached 66 for everyone in 2020. Under current law it is rising to 67 between 2026 and 2028, and to 68 between 2044 and 2046.
Source: DWP, State Pension age timetable (Law as of September 2026) - Active members of private-sector final salary pension schemes fell from 4.6 million in 2000 to 0.9 million in 2019.
Source: ONS, Occupational Pension Schemes Survey 2019 (UK, 2000 and 2019) - In 2024, 7.3% of private-sector employee jobs had a final salary pension.
Source: ONS, Annual Survey of Hours and Earnings pension tables (UK, 2024, provisional) - The minimum workplace pension contribution under auto-enrolment is 8% of qualifying earnings, with at least 3% from the employer.
Source: GOV.UK, Workplace pensions (2026/27)