renting.txt — Boomer-ai
C:\BOOMER-AI\ASK\RENTING.TXT

What would a boomer say about renting?

Plenty of boomers rented a bedsit for a few years, then bought. Today far more people rent privately, many well into their thirties. Here's the Boomer's take, followed by the real numbers.

Ask a Boomer: renting Comedy, not advice

You asked: “My landlord wants £1,800 a month for a room.”

Eighteen hundred pounds for a ROOM?! For that money in 1979 I'd have rented a whole flat above a launderette, and the heat from the tumble dryers came up through the floorboards for free!

Go round and see him in person. Offer six months up front, compliment his hedge, and mention that your father once played darts with his uncle. That's how deals get done.

Anyway, what do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud! Took me three days to work that one out.

You asked: “Is it normal to share a flat with four strangers at 31?”

Thirty-one and living with FOUR strangers?! By thirty-one I had a wife, two children, a Vauxhall Cavalier and a lawnmower with a name!

Mind you, there were seven of us in a terrace in 1974, but we were all related, so that doesn't count. Put a rota on the fridge, label your cheese, and don't let them near your good biro.

Anyway, I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! Gets me every time.

You asked: “There were forty people at the flat viewing.”

Forty people?! The last queue that long I stood in was for Star Wars at the Odeon in 1977, and at least I got a choc ice at the end of it!

Turn up twenty minutes early with a firm handshake, a letter from your bank manager and a tin of Quality Street for the agent. Nobody says no to a purple one.

Anyway, what's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Ho ho ho!

The real numbers

What else would a boomer say?

Boomer-ai is a comedy app made by Moola. The Boomer's answers are jokes, not advice.